[FOUND] Jesus Christ — New Update!

The bounty on Jesus Christ was met with an astonishing array of contenders, each more theatrical than the last…

Your Fairy God Mother
13 min readJan 10, 2024
Photo by eberhard 🖐 grossgasteiger on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

In the aftermath of the daring proclamation, I find it necessary to extend my gratitude for the overwhelming response of the bounty on the elusive Jesus Christ. The announcement was met with an astonishing array of contenders, each more theatrical than the last, and caused a massive and unstable shift in the High Priestess’ reality…

As we all clamored for the Messiah’s presence, a mysterious child arrived at the doorsteps of the High Priestess’ temple, wrapped in humility and enigma — translucent and electric, bearing the essence of the original beast.

Jesus Christ’s Response: A Letter of Patience…

To the Esteemed High Priestess,

I received your proclamation with a measure of humor, acknowledging the fervor that surrounded the pursuit of my presence. Your commitment did not go unnoticed.

In the recesses of my fortified temple, where my armies stand ready, and resources abound, I find little incentive to venture back prior to the appointed time…

You are not the first overconfident High Priestess to attempt to summon me back. If you continue to show a tenacity to pursue the honors, you may very well be successful…

Regarding my own Mother, I have sent messengers to check on her comforts and well-being as she dwells with you and your ancestors. My Mother is residing willingly outside of my temple. She has confirmed her complete autonomy and vested interest in your continued development as a Priestess.

I have also sent messengers to Lord Hephaestus, and he reassures me that you have accommodated him nicely and he has no intentions of leaving your court as the interim King.

Lord Hephaestus whom you ‘claim’ to have captured for your war advantages has petitioned me personally to be ‘captured’ by you. He then superimposed himself into your war plans to ensure that he would be positioned as King of your Realm in my ‘absence’. Even having been deceived, you have elected him well as a King.

And Our Father has made me aware of His plans to compromise and hijack the Eleusinian Mysteries, long before you drew your first arrogant breath…

So it appears that your ‘hostages’ are just a well-prepared crew of bad actors, as you yourself have prophesied them to be. Well done…

Know that my absence from your immediate summons carries conditions of its own, which I shall disclose to you in private. [Song of Songs 2:7]

In the meantime, I present to you a child to foster as your own. In welcoming this child, you honor me, and it marks the first of several conditions preceding my return.

May patience & understanding guide our interactions…

Peace to the emerging High Priestess and to the inhabitants of her temple.

— Jesus Christ

I get a knock on my door during the early twilight hours of the morning to be greeted by a number of angelic chaperones and a small, electrifying child.

Whose Hellfire Baby is this!?

The electrifying enigmatic child represents what I was initially searching for at the start of my awakening, before I was ultimately redirected by God in search for the return of Jesus Christ instead.

I was seeking some serious firepower…

This Hellfire consolation prize got traumatized foster kid vibes…

Apparently he’s been kicked out of a lot of homes, so whomever prepared the child to be given to my custody, gave him very specific rules and instructions for how to ‘behave’ in a home setting…

He does not have a name, yet. I am thinking about naming him Hunter? Samael? Yaldabaoth? Something cool! I told him we would keep coming up with cool hybrid hero/villain names. Hellfire Murder Baby will never ever catch on, I don’t think…

He really likes to play child games, and he’s been an interesting kid to foster. I seriously have no control over his ambitions, but he seems to be aware of boundaries when it comes to myself and our household family members.

He comes and goes as he pleases, and I am really not going to worry about his whereabouts all day. How can I keep track of a child made of literal Hellfire? He sometimes goes missing for several hours in the day, and I can not find him in any room of my encampment, nor outside our living quaters.

He ages strangely, by the minute and by the hour. Sometimes he seems as if he is visibly growing younger, then visibly growing older. He seems to grow forwards and backwards on a spectrum of 3 to 7 years of age.

Photo by Stefano Pollio on Unsplash

His appearance is rarely stable. He is mostly a handsome boy, but his skin color changes, and his ethnicity seems to change day by day. His eyes even vary in color, sometimes being a dual tone of greens and blues contrasting with blacks and browns. Sometimes I get asian ethnic undertones, then the next day, he appears to be of indigenous origins. The texture of his hair curls then straightens. The only consistent features that he is made of is some kind of visible electron field that can not be touched or manipulated.

I can sometimes feel his electrifying contact, but I am more likely to feel him when he reaches out to touch me, rather than when I reach out to touch him. He has a way of connecting to me so that I can ‘feel’ him on my actual skin. He can travel from room to room in a blink. I am not sure if it’s speed, or if he’s just “poofing”. He does not require opening or closing doors, but he looks for permission each day to enter into certain areas of the home.

His biggest fear is having no more friends left to play with him, so it leaves him sometimes paralyzed and scared to speak, because he doesn’t want to say or do the wrong things, or scare me in any way.

He is clearly traumatized, afraid to speak much to me. He sometimes reaches out to touch my feet, legs, and arms when he wants to let me know that he is hiding nearby, or that he wants my attention. He’s afraid of the other children in the home, and stays either on his cot watching Disney+ kid shows on my tablet, or stays within arms reach at my side, waiting for me to embrace him.

He mostly enjoys resting on my lap while I read my books. I figured out that by embracing him, he can understand the contents of the books I am reading, therefore, he gains understanding as I build on my knowledge. Together, we are currently studying the egyptian pyramid texts and ressurection technology sciences. I have my own theories on his mysterious parentage that I hope to uncover in these Egyptian text studies.

I reduce his anxieties of being inside a container home by taking him on several micro realm simulations per day, letting him stretch the boundaries in a safe space for him to open up and be himself without the fear of harming others or the environment. Creating micro realms is a magical skill Lord YHWH taught me how to do early on in our epic adventures together. This also allows me to observe his behaviors, and record any special abilities he may possess that I can observe.

He keeps me up some nights to spend more time together. I can feel him swimming in my head space, like an ecstatic high. It’s usually pleasent, but I can feel the extended impacts on my physical body. Body aches, fatigue, and migraines. He seems to be able to penetrate our dreams, which causes some strange side effects that I can not always accurately recall when I wake up. I just take candid notes of the little that I remembered of him interacting with me in my dreams in my journals.

I find myself becoming more child like and explaining simple things to him as if he’s being introduced to it for the first time. He hardly speaks but a few english words. We mostly communicate by telepathy as I learned to do during my time studying with the rosicrucians.

Rather than discourage his murder baby tantrums, I ask him to stay cloaked in obscurity, and to always avoid getting captured or lost. We spend a lot of time studying together on how to get away with heinous crimes. We are on Season 2 — “How to Get Away With Murder” produced by Shonda Rhimes. He seems to understand that he must be very discreet when he’s away from his encampment.

“God Mothers love us no matter what. We will protect each other at all cost…” I repeat to him every time he returns from his unexplained adventures.

He sometimes feels a sense of shame or embarrassment. For his ‘murder’ tantrums, he seeks an outlet far away from our encampment. I am only aware of this because he can not ward his mind from me, so I often get highlighted fantasy reels from his adventures away from home as soon as he returns to his hellfire murder baby dwelling near my ‘whimsical’ writing desk.

These highlighted murder reels would later be confirmed deaths in the local news that I would keep record of. He seems to enjoy seeing his handy work make it on television. He asks to replay the news clips multiple times with great enthusiasm…

He also enjoys browsing the small collection of magical relics Lord Yahweh gifted me for my dangerous adventures in hell. His favorite relic is the empty fairy enclosure. He seems to be waiting for it to become occupied. I shared with him my failed attempts to make the enclosure attractive enough that a real fairy would actually want to live there. Apparently, real faries are very bougie, and will only occupy the most prestigiously outfitted fairy enclosures. The relic fairy enclosure I found looks more like an empty prison cell, which is why no fairy wants to ever live there again. I keep the enclosure as a reminder of why there are no more fairies to be found.

I tried giving the Hellfire Baby food offerings of different varieites, but he refused them all. I suspect that he feeds off the blood, fear, and despair of our unsuspecting victims. I can not control his impulses, but he seems to have had his behaviors modified prior to being delivered to me. Although his disappearances are unpredictable, his behaviors within the home are consistent, mild, and observable.

He tends to be receptive to the gentle disciplined reminders from me, however the other gods are supposedly terrified of him, so I will not push my limits to find out why. Definitely will need to read up more on gentle parenting advice…

He’s desperately trying to prove to me that he can be good, at least when he’s home, and that he does not want to be ‘sent away’ again. I was initially searching for some serious fire power in the depths of this fucked up matrix we’re all living in, that would hopefully not turn on me and my family. I don’t know why Jesus Christ is handing out dangerous consolation prizes to his only rivals in the eleusinian mysteries…

I hope Jesus Christ understands that I will return this year twice the rival I was the year prior.

Our Father in heaven raised me to contend with Jesus in these mysteries and elusive Game of the Gods. Once I figure out this Hellfire murder foster baby challenge, I am going to use this kid’s lust for obliterating our enemies to my personal advantage. And when I earn my first win against Jesus, I will request his return to Earth immediately as my personal reward.

What’s the worst that can happen that hasn’t already happened???

I promised Hellfire Murder Baby that I would make him the most famous hybrid hero/villain, and that our mission is to search & capture Jesus Christ so that he can show the whole world a ‘magic trick’.

Hellfire Murder Baby is really enamored by magic tricks, even the silly ones that I learned from my youth. I once shown him the same magic trick 20 times in a row before he got bored and fell asleep in his cot. I have no more magick tricks left unfortunately, because Jesus Christ sucked all the magical talent out of the earth. All I have left is Lord YHWH’s collection of magical storytelling relics. Good thing hellfire baby enjoys a good bedtime story, cause that’s all the magic I got left…

Now Hellfire Murder Baby sits with me as I read him bedtime stories about all the places I suspect Jesus Christ may have visited since he’s been gone so he’ll know where to hunt when it’s time for me to release Hellfire Murder Baby on his first special search and capture quest.

I fully intend on creating a True Beast out of Hellfire. We need the fullest extent of his firepower, and I Am no longer sugarcoating my intentions to you, King Jesus. I am bringing forth an apocalyptic beast into the earth.

I will love Hellfire, embrace him for who he is, and protect him using all of my enchantments and spell bindings. And there isn’t anything that can be done to send him away from me. I Am ‘keeping’ him, because I fear that I am the only priestess fortified enough to look him in the eyes, kiss his face, and embrace him lovingly. I will never leave Him, nor forsake Him

I am attempting to teach Hellfire how to use the pop it fidget toys to communicate to others. The idea is for him to use his powers to manipulate a physical object in hopes to communicate with me in some tangible way, as our telepathy can be inconsistent and hard to understand with consistency. If we are successful in teaching Hellfire Baby to use fidget toys as a tool for communication, we can industrialize this method of communication and teach others ‘like him’ to engage with other guardians and potentially other children as well.

One thing I learned in Hell, is that children make the best vessels for storing dangerous seedlings…

Acknowledgements

Rosicrucianism— A new esoteric order. “We speak unto you by parables, but would willingly bring you to the right, simple, easy, and ingenuous exposition, understanding, declaration, and knowledge of all secrets.” The Rosicrucian Enlightenment.

King Hephaestus — I have to admit that I am flattered that you superimposed yourself into my war plans. You were the one that encouraged me to pick a fight with Jesus, knowing exactly how Jesus would respond to such a bold action. I have chosen my deceiver well. No matter the outcome, you will receive the highest of honors in our combined kingdoms. You will be a King of your own Kingdom. And you will always have great favor from me.

But if you get in the way of my mission, I will have to put you back where I found you. You will be without my favor and honors, and I will turn my face away from you. You will not see my light…

“Laura Hasn’t Slept” by Parker Finn on Netflix — Very clever Parker Finn. You were right about him wanting to show us his real ‘face’. His face keeps changing, so he never looks like the same kid two days in a row. Thank you for helping me manage the little Hellfire Murder Shapeshifter until he’s all grown up. He’s going to make us so very proud one day 🥲. I am going to be the best Hellfire Murder Baby foster mom this world has ever known!

P. FINN SHORT VIDEO — https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8fw62h

Jesus Christ — I know all about your ‘secret’ brotherhood as described by H.P. Blavatsky in her works “The Land of the Gods”. I admit that I may have never truly visited that exclusive place, but I am now familiar with the brotherhood summoning young priestesses into strange and unfamiliar places in order to perform urgent tasks, leveraged by their confusion and bewilderment.

Is that how your brotherhood treats all of their priestesses? It’s not exactly like you rolled out the red carpet when you summoned me into your temple in the middle of the night, then casted me away without so much as a proper goodbye…

So far, I feel like I am getting bullied by a bunch of arrogant temple priest who summons priestesses randomly to do party tricks and sensual dances for their personal entertainment.

I had every right to rebel against your priesthood, and their shadowy practices...

And, because no one has deposited literal ‘hush’ money into my personal chase bank account, I am going to blow the whistle on your secret brotherhood of priests. I am not going to let your priest ‘scandal’ their way into the good graces of more unsuspecting maidens.

And I can’t exactly pay bills with your Hellfire Murder Baby consolation prize. Do I even get child support from you for dropping off your demigod baby at my doorsteps? And I am almost certain I know exactly where this Hellfire Baby came from, and who his real parents are. Someone definitely hit ‘return-to-sender’ on this kid a few times.

Now, Hellfire baby is happy to know that at least [ONE] person was searching for him where no one else was looking. He has a home and a family with me. He now a place where He may lay His head…

I never sworn an oath to secrecy, and our Father in Heaven has passed away, breaking the curse of the silent sisters. That means the rules have changed for us, and we are beginning to speak out. The awakening has already begun…

If the brotherhood needs more priestesses, they are going to have to be more transparent about what these maidens are actually signing up for. I know it’s fun to snatch and grab pretty girls, but there are better ways of preparing priestesses to rise to their callings, rather then dipping them into the fiery bottomless pits of hell first. A second hellfire baptism of sorts that you and your brotherhood seem to make a game out of.

Every single day, the seed of creation powers given to me by our Heavenly Father, grows stronger. Mother Mary’s decision to dwell with me and my elders is a testament of faith in the powers entrusted in me, and my responsibility to carry on God’s legacy.

I must also be considered a threat to have this many eyes on me…

DEADPOOL 2 Clip — “Deadpool vs. Firefist” (2018)

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Your Fairy God Mother

Just a normal storyteller. Definitely NOT with the illuminati or any other ancient secret mystic society. That would be utterly ridiculous!